Hate to break this to you, but you’re dying. How you go will be a surprise and you won’t remember it anyway. Then it’s all over, but for the divvying up of your wealth, such as that may be.

Estate planning is one of those life tasks that is too easy to put off until tomorrow (when you could be hit by a truck, as you’re so fond of saying, usually when you want to do something silly and irresponsible). It’s got to be done, and properly, or you could be remembered for tearing the family apart in a legal shit storm rather than for being a Number #1 Dad, World’s Greatest Lover (or whatever your particular mug might say).

John Poyser is a member of the Wealth and Succession Practice Group with Winnipeg law firm Inkster Christie Hughes LLP. He has lectured extensively across Canada, teaches at York University in Toronto, co-authored a book about trusts and will planning, and has a monthly column in the Winnipeg Free Press, and WM tapped him to find out what you need to know right now.

Because writing a will is usually at the bottom of the Things-to-Do list, the obvious question is, what happens if you die without one? “The Intestate Succession Act (ISA), says where your wealth goes,” says Poyser. “It’s like a will for your family members that the government has written for you (laying out) who stands first in line, who stands second in line, and so on. If I die without a will, everything would go to my spouse, but it’s rarely as simple as that. With a poorly written will, you could end up with something called a ‘partial intestacy’ (ouch), which means that the will gives away some of the stuff, and the government rules that the ISA deals with whatever you didn’t give away. It’s a confusing, unnecessary mess.”

Essentially, there are two different considerations with a non-existent or poorly written will. One is, does it screw things up? The second is, are there lost opportunities? “Some people,” explains Poyser, “are in a position, through a will, to achieve some extraordinary results for their family, such as minimizing income taxes on an annual (and continuing) basis. If you have special beneficiaries—a disabled person, a person who is not good with money, or someone who might benefit from a Harvard education, for example—structures in a will can protect that person, or support and encourage them to go to school.” Wealth that might be going to young people can also be held (in trust) until they reach a responsible age. “Without a will,” Poyser emphasizes, “they’ll get it at 18, which is usually disastrous for a handful of reasons.”

In other words, bully for you for making sure your kids are provided for, but put into the hands of an 18-year-old, that “Harvard Fund” might just as easily become the “Taking 50 Buddies to Fort Lauderdale on Spring break to Win the Team Beer Bong Championship Fund”. You see the problem.

Spending an average of $250 to $450 on a properly written will (keeping in mind that you usually get what you pay for) can also provide for the orderly transition of cottages, family farms and family businesses which otherwise might have to be sold. The point is, says Poyser, “You want the wealth to go to the right people, and sometimes the government rules and ISA send wealth to spots where it wasn’t anticipated and isn’t desired.”

We all remember the cartoon of Wile E. Coyote, furiously scribbling out his will under his little umbrella as he plummets from the cliff, and as kids, we all immediately thought about two things: 1) The surface area to gravity to mass co-efficient makes that umbrella completely inadequate, and 2) That will might not stand up in probate court.

Too bad John Poyser wasn’t there to ask. “There are two different kinds of legally enforceable wills,” he explains. “The ‘Holograph Will’ is entirely hand-written from top to bottom. If it is signed and dated by the person making the will, it need not be witnessed, and is a valid will.” By the way, paper is not mandatory. Poyser cites a few famous examples of holograph wills (A-list chat material for that next cocktail party): “One was written on the fender of a tractor. The farmer thought he was dying and wrote his will on the fender. There have been wills written on hospital charts, even one written on a nurse’s skirt as she stood by the bedside. All of these are examples of valid wills, but all things considered, you don’t want to have a holograph will because they’re often problematic and just lead to grief. The other, a ‘Formal Will’, needs two witnesses, and can be typewritten and, if done correctly, is easier to put to probate.”

Tax consequences can also be brought into play depending on the wording of your will. The bad: “Registered investments are taxed at death,” explains Poyser, “and for some people, that can result in huge tax bills. There are ways to defer those tax bills if an estate plan is structured correctly, so that the surviving spouse takes those RRSP’s without paying any taxes.” The good: “People can structure a trust for their beneficiaries that will lower the annual income taxes paid by the beneficiaries after inheritance.”

So quit procrastinating. One of these days, you might be right about that truck.

Death, American Style
The National Safety Council in the States created a list to answer the popular media question: What are the odds of dying from…(fill in the blanks). Check out your odds below. Keep in mind these are US statistics, so you probably should worry less about a firearm assault and more about a tragic shoveling accident.

Chance of dying: 1 in 1
Heart disease: 1 in 5
Cancer: 1 in 7
Stroke: 1 in 24
Motor vehicle accident: 1 in 84
Suicide: 1 in 119
Falling: 1 in 218
Firearm assault: 1 in 314
Pedestrian accident: 1 in 626
Drowning: 1 in 1,008
Motorcycle accident: 1 in 1,020
Fire or smoke: 1 in 1,113
Bicycle accident: 1 in 4,919
Air/space accident: 1 in 5,051
Accidental electrocution: 1 in 9,968
Alcohol poisoning: 1 in 10,048
Hot weather: 1 in 13,729
Hornet, bee or wasp sting: 1 in 56,789
Lightning: 1 in 79,746
Flood: 1 in 144,156
Fireworks discharge: 1 in 340,733