Mike • Age: 35 • Occupation: Internal Auditor

Ever used moisturizer? I’ve never used a moisturizer before, other than on my hands.  I let those sleeping dogs lie.

Product #1: LUSH Fair Trade Foot Lotion

First impressions? The word “Lush” didn’t exactly appeal to my manly sense of what a moisturizer should be.

Did you like the smell? The smell was pepperminty. And it looked like it too. I thought the editor sent me her yogurt snack. I really wanted to eat it….

How did it feel when you put it on? Gushy.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day? My feet were so dry that I’ve nicknamed them “Sahara” and “Gobi.” So, no, not initially.

The verdict? After a few applications, my feet started to become soft and supple. But my wife still wouldn’t rub them.

Product #2:  Vaseline Intensive Rescue Hydrating Foot Cream

First impressions? The name wasn’t so intimidating that a guy couldn’t go to the cashier with it in his shopping basket and feel like his masculinity was stripped away.

Did you like the smell? It vaguely reminded me of glue.

How did it feel when you put it on? I felt like a superhero!

The verdict? The cream seemed to be not as efficient in moisturizing as the LUSH lotion. The product made my feet feel really greasy. I was scared to walk on my floors after applying.

Product #3:  Rocky Mountain Soap Company Foot Butter

First impressions? I thought it was foot deodorant at first, judging by the packaging. And it’s small enough that you can pack it with the shaving kit or overnight bag. Small enough to hide it from your guy friends. Evidently the makers never saw Monty Python’s “How They Make Cheese” skit, ‘cause they would have never used the phrase “Foot Butter” in the product’s name.

Did you like the smell? I liked the smell. It was “spicy.”

How did it feel when you put it on? It was easy to apply and I didn’t have to get my hands covered in moisturizer as well.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day?  What I noticed about the cream was the smell throughout the day. Much better than stinky feet.

The verdict? It really lacked the same moisturizing power as the other two (I can’t believe I just wrote that…).

Chris • Age: 32 • Occupation: Teacher

Product #1:  George’s Special Dry Skin Cream

First impressions? I know you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I’m very judgmental. That’s just my thing. The name is simple, yet effective, and the picture is awesome. I would so trust George, just based on that picture. Plus, I am told that it is the only cream that is pharmacist-recommended, albeit by George himself, but damn it, the original recipe was created using his dear wife’s blender. Simply add one part deionized water, one part white petroleum, a dash of cetyl alcohol, a pinch of polysorbate-20 and 80 and the pièce de résistance, sodium lauryl sulphate, and voila!

Did you like the smell? Of the three creams, this product had the least offensive aroma. I actually didn’t mind the smell, it was a non-issue.

How did it feel when you put it on? Creamy.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day? Should I have?

The verdict? When I thought of the name George’s, images of greasy fries and Fat Boy chili burgers came to mind, so I was pleasantly surprised that my feet felt glorious. Can I use that word? Maybe I’ll go with soft and supple.

Would you continue to use this product? You know that scene in Return of the Jedi where the Emperor has those blue electric bolts that come out of his hands and shock Luke Skywalker? That’s what it’s like when I turn on the lights in my basement. I guess I suffer from Acute Jedi Syndrome. George’s has helped my affliction. I am so impressed with George’s that I have begun using it as a hand cream. At first I felt a little weird about it but then I thought, what the hell?  

Product #2:  Vaseline Intensive Rescue Hydrating Foot Cream

First impressions? I guess I had high expectations of this cream as it had the word “rescue” in it.

Did you like the smell? It wasn’t too bad.

How did it feel when you put it on? A bit greasy.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day? The day began like any other, but soon took a turn for the worse. The cream began to feel a bit greasy, then moist, then outright wet. Sadly, society has these RULES about not taking off your socks and shoes in places of business so my suffering continued.

The verdict? Moist, very moist.

Would you continue to use this product? No, but I would recommend it to people that enjoy going out and getting a booter.

Product #3:  Rocky Mountain Soap Company Foot Butter

First impressions? I thought to myself, Rocky Mountains, made in Canmore, this could be cool. Foot butter, sounds a little like foot jam, not so cool.

Did you like the smell? Are you kidding me?  It is made with patchouli. I hear they use that stuff to scare off vampires. Wait, that’s to attract hippies.

How did it feel when you put it on? There are things in this world that should be buttered, such as toast and baked potatoes. Then there are things that should never be buttered, such as feet.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day? It felt like I was holding a dirty secret. The smell of patchouli was overpowering. I kept asking myself, can they smell it too?

The verdict? No difference to speak of.

Kevin • Age: 33 • Occupation: GIS Technician

Ever used moisturizer? Yes, I’ve been using
steroid/cortisone creams for years.

Product #1:  George’s Special Dry Skin Cream

First impressions? I saw a billboard and it sounded good.

Did you like the smell? I didn’t notice any smell.

How did it feel when you put it on? It rubbed in smooth but became tacky after a couple minutes.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day?  No.

The verdict? They felt soft, maybe not so supple, but it also stopped itchy, dry skin.

Product #2: LUSH Fair Trade Foot Lotion

First impressions? When I go to LUSH with my wife, it usually has too many overpowering smells.

Did you like the smell? Actually, yes, I did.

How did it feel when you put it on? It felt smooth and maybe a little tingly.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day?  No.

The verdict? It absorbed well and helped my feet smell good.

Product #3:  Rocky Mountain Soap Company Foot Butter

First impressions? I liked that it was a stick. No mess on your hands.

Did you like the smell? I actually didn’t smell much, maybe because there was none on my hands.

How did it feel when you put it on? It felt like rubbing deodorant on my feet.

Did you notice the cream throughout the day?  No.

The verdict? I didn’t notice much of an improvement.