Don't Sweat It

The condition is called hyperhidrosis, a neurological condition (maybe) that UCLA scientists think is genetic (perhaps) and which could be treated by any number of either horrific-sounding or flat-out bizarre remedies (in theory). The situation is bad enough that it has spawned two assistance organizations: The International Hyperhidrosis Society (www.sweathelp.org) and The Centre for the Cure of Hyperhidrosis (www.curesweatypalms.com). The Internationals wipe the floor with the CCH in their rec-league hockey games.

Truth is, science doesn’t know a whole lot about sweating, relatively speaking. For example, why are you sweating so much? It could be any number of things including liver, kidney or gallbladder issues. Maybe it’s a secondary symptom of a more complex condition like an overactive thyroid, menopause (manopause actually, but that’s for a different article), or, according to those UCLA scientists, genetic predisposition. It could also be happening because, frankly, you’re overweight.

If you develop excessive sweating, and especially if that is so-called “night sweats” (definition: sweating at night. You’re welcome.), see your doctor, since night sweats could be related to the spleen, kidney, heart or blood conditions.

If you just happen to be a sweaty dude, it could be that you just have overactive sweat glands, either the apocrine (in the nooks and crannies), which also emits your own particular scent (not to be confused with B.O.), and the far more popular eccrine, which is really just saltwater and is the more generalized sweat.

If you’re not sure what is going on with your particular situation, see a dermatologist like Dr. Victoria Taraska of First Glance Aesthetic Clinic, who explains that if the condition is localized, the easiest thing to start with is topical aluminum chloride preparations–under trade names that include Drysol, Certain Dri and PerspireX–which are helpful
in reducing sweating by about 50 per cent, although some people are susceptible to irritation or itching when they apply aluminum chloride, which bothers them more than the sweat.” Typical.

Dr. Taraska explains that for excessive hand and foot sweating, a machine is used in a process known as iontophoresis, “where the patient submerges their hand and foot in a tray of tap water, and a low-intensity electrical current is passed through the water, which can disrupt the function and activity of the sweat glands.” According to taumed.com, a virtual health community, the therapy lasts about 10 to 20 minutes and requires several sessions with side effects–although rare–that include skin cracking and blisters. But dammit, at least they’ll be dry!

Anticholinergics drugs, such as glycopyrrolate, help to prevent the stimulation of sweat glands, too, says taumed.com, “although side effects include dry mouth, dizziness and problems with urination.” Sold!

According to Oprah.com–and really, if you can’t trust Oprah on this, then you’ve got a problem with yourself, am I right?–applying antiperspirant before you go to bed will lead to a marked decrease in sweating after just a few days. Dr. Mary Lupo told Oprah.com that it works on sweaty feet as well, and “even tells patients to wrap (plastic wrap) over them afterward to improve absorption.” Get a little creative in that area, fellas, and you can play a little game of “man in the haz-mat suit and the contaminated lady,” but that’s really none of our business.

There are also a slew of natural home remedies listed on the web, including the following:

•    Take seeds of fresh datura flower, dry them in the sun and grind them into powder. Burn to an ash. Eat one gram each day for seven days.

•    Soak lemons in water until soft, cut into halves and rub into sweaty areas (and on a nice piece of fish).

•    Drink tomato soup every morning for a week before switching to alternate mornings.

One medical forum suggested 30 to 40 alfalfa tabs a day. But then you might be looking at adverse effects–presuming they exist–of excessive alfalfa. I know what you’re thinking: Excessive Alfalfa … GREAT name for a band.

Of course, if all else fails, there’s always Botox (see sidebar) or surgery. Local plastic surgeon Dr. Manfred Zeismann says that there are several procedures available. “The first is the direct excision of the sweat glands,” he says, “which involves cutting out lips of skin and then shaving the sweat glands out from the surrounding skin with a scalpel and scissors, leaving a scar about four inches long in the armpit. That’s done as a day surgery and takes about an hour. That’s been kind of the gold standard for the last number of years.”
 
People who are concerned about that scar can choose a procedure called “shaving,” Zeismann says, “where a small incision is made, and then a shaver is used like with a piece of cartilage in a knee scope. Basically, it uses a rotating cutter inside a metal sheath, which also sucks at the same time. The advantage is that it leaves a smaller scar. The downside is that you’re guessing as to where the sweat glands are, so there is a higher recurrence over people who have the glands removed.”

The third procedure–called a cervical sympathectomy–is something that a thoracic surgeon has to do by messing around inside your chest where the nerves that control sweating originate. The killjoys at taumed.com add that it is not as effective on those with excessive armpit sweating. Risks include artery damage and nerve damage. Oh, and about 50 per cent of patients experience increased sweating.

Kind of makes excessive alfalfa look like a great option, doesn’t it?