Big Brothers

Big brother. It’s a phrase that carries with it a lot of weight. For some, big brother brings back memories of headlocks, purple-nurples, and being offered quarters to simply go away. For others, big brother brings to mind protection, defense, or an intimidating physical presence in the battle against bullies and tormentors.

Then, there are those who associate big brother with friend, confidant, buddy.

And for 140 Winnipeg boys, it’s this last description that means the most to them.

The Winnipeg chapter of Big Brothers is celebrating its 40th anniversary this year. That’s forty years of bringing together boys from single-parent families with men willing to give their time to make a difference in a young person’s life.

According to www.bigwinnipeg.com: “Big Brothers got its start in the U.S. in 1903 when a group of men, concerned about a growing rate of delinquency among young boys in single-parent families, decided to help by forging a bond of friendship, trust and encouragement with these boys.”

The Canadian arm of the organization was developed in 1911. In Winnipeg, Big Brothers formed in 1969, and the Big Sisters followed one year later, in 1970. Since then, the Winnipeg agency has paired hundreds of boys and girls with Big Brothers and Big Sisters. In 1997, the two organizations joined forces as the Big Sisters and Big Brothers Association of Winnipeg. In 2001 the name was changed and the agency became known as Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg, Inc.

The vision of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg is simple: “A mentor for every child.” However, as with anything worth its while, the process in becoming a Big Brother/Big Sister is a little involved. After the initial expression of interest by the potential mentor, the agency begins an extensive screening process involving interviews, a reference check, police check, Child Abuse Registry check, and a training period. Assuming everything is as it should be, the pairing process begins. Common interests and time considerations are the initial criteria used in matching Bigs and Littles (to use the vernacular), but compatibility is also a primary concern.

“Obviously, making sure that the Big and Little have something in common is key,” says Andrea Gantzel, director of development and community relations with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg. “But we need to be just as focused on ensuring that these are two people who are actually interested in spending time with each other.”

The agency expects that the pair will spend a few hours each week together. Activities include hobbies, movies, sports, or simply just hanging out and talking. Spending time together is the goal. “Friendships develop very quickly,” says Gantzel. “It doesn’t take mentors long to realize that as much of a commitment being a Big Brother may be, it is a great experience and lots of fun.”

Besides believing that being a Big Brother is a great way to give back to the community, and is something that he would like to see more guys consider, for business-owner Blair Sherwood, the initial decision to become a Big Brother came from a desire to gain some experience with kids. “At the time, I was in education at the University of Manitoba, and as I don’t have kids, I thought that being a Big Brother would be a good way to get a little insight on what it was like to be around kids.”

So, Sherwood contacted Big Brothers and got involved in their in-school mentoring program. This is a program that puts mentors and children together at the child’s school during school hours. Visits are weekly and are an hour long. Matches read, play games, or again, just hang out. As it takes place at the school, part of the intention of the program is to help the mentee develop a healthy attitude towards school–that it can be a fun place to be. And, as it only requires one hour a week, the program has appeal for men who may have difficulty with a greater time commitment.

For Sherwood though, the in-school mentor program was all the incentive he needed to get more involved with Big Brothers, and with his Little Brother, 11-year-old Bailey. “After a year or so on the mentor program, they asked if we wanted to get into the regular program. Bailey and I talked about it and realized it was pretty much what we were doing. So, we decided to go ahead with it.” He and Bailey have been matched for three years.

A common interest in sports is an important part of the relationship Sherwood has with Bailey. Bomber games, Moose games, or Bailey’s own football games give them the opportunity to spend a few quality hours together. However, as somebody who had aspirations to be an educator, Sherwood looks at his role as a Big Brother as an opportunity to have an impact on Bailey’s school life as well. “If he needs help with his homework or with a project, he knows I’m here to help.”

Bailey’s perspective on his relationship with his Big Brother is to the point: “I like having somebody I can talk with. I can tell him stuff I don’t tell other people. And even though he’s a Steelers fan, he’s fun to hang out with.” (Bailey is a proud Packers fan. A real Cheesehead.)

As unique as it is to them, the relationship between Blair Sherwood and Bailey is not unlike those between all Bigs and Littles. It’s a “bond of friendship, trust and encouragement.” It’s a relationship that both of them find enriching. And, it’s a relationship Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg is hoping more adults would be willing to explore. Unfortunately, at this time, the waiting list for matches consists of approximately 50 kids–40 of which are boys. This is not uncommon. According to Gantzel, there are always more boys on the waiting list for mentors. “We’re always looking for people who are willing to share their time with a young person,” she says. “What we want people to realize is that you don’t have to change your life to make a difference in theirs.”

To become a mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg or to make a donation to their programs, check out www.bigwinnipeg.com.

Ototoma Too

In Cree, Ototoma means “my friend,” making it a fitting name for a unique mentoring program offered by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg. A partnership with Manitoba Justice, Ototoma II, as it’s known, pairs volunteer mentors with youth who have been involved in the justice system in some way.

Aged 12 to 17, these youth are looking for the same things as the other kids at Big Brothers Big Sisters—someone to spend time with and to listen to them. “I feel like they’re just regular kids,” says Ototoma II program coordinator Darlene Meissner.

The program is completely voluntary and the youth involved (both male and female) are very much interested in being paired with their mentor. For Meissner, the program gives these kids exposure to a world outside their own, opening up interests, activities and new kinds of relationships outside of those that may be getting them into trouble.

For the volunteer, the program allows them to make a difference in the life of someone who really needs a friend. The role of the volunteer is not to discipline, or to judge, stresses Meissner. Instead, the volunteers spend their time listening to their “Little,” but also having fun with them out in the community. They can do all of the activities that people in the regular program would do, from watching movies to playing basketball, depending on their shared interests. Meissner also tries to make volunteers aware of various cultural activities that are happening within the community, as many of the youth involved are Aboriginal. And if the youth does re-offend, or in some way violate their parole, volunteers can visit them at the city’s youth centre, where having visitors can be especially important.

There are no special volunteer requirements for this program, says Meissner, although an understanding of social and cultural issues may be beneficial. “I feel like [potential volunteers] might think it’s a challenge, but these youth are very open to the program,” says Meissner. In the end, volunteers can expect what most Big Brothers Big Sisters volunteers can—to have fun. “I always hear from volunteers that they got involved hoping to make a difference in someone’s life, but they didn’t realize how much fun they’d have,” says Andrea Gantzel, Director of Development and Community Relations for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg.

If you would like to learn more about the Ototoma II program, or any of the volunteer opportunities at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Winnipeg, you can call 988-9200 or head to www.bigwinnipeg.com.