Popping the Question?
Thursday, 12 March 2009 08:11
Written by Jon Waldman
Most of the time, when men get down on one knee it’s because we’re stretching before hockey (which happens very frequently), cleaning up something we spilt (which many women will say doesn’t happen enough), or looking at instructions on how to put IKEA furniture together (which all women will say doesn’t happen enough).
But once (hopefully) in our lifetime, we’ll get down on one knee for a totally different reason–to ask that special someone in our lives for her hand in marriage.
It is in that one moment where man leaves the world full of fear of commitment, to another where he puts forth the promise of an eternity with one other person.
Thinking about it on that grandiose a scale is enough to make a guy shudder, but on top of that, there are a couple of elements that make that four-word question more fearful than jumping into a pool of sharks.
One of the biggest considerations will be to the actual timing of the proposal. The common feeling that is said over and over is that only you will know when the time is right; but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be some gentle suggestions prior to the engagement.
“I definitely dropped hints,” admits Allison P. “We had discussed it ever since we first got together.”
Because there is some prep work involved (you know, minor details like picking out a ring), planning ahead for the big day is a must, especially if you are like Allison and her future beau, Dave M. Dave proposed at Disney World, during the couple’s second time there (the first, as Dave recalls, being so memorable that he wanted to build off it), in front of the Magic Kingdom during the famous fireworks display.
Though both will admit that the proposal came a little late (the couple had already been living together for a year prior to their special vacation), Allison comments that it was well worth the wait.
“I’d probably agree a little bit with it being overdue, but I don’t regret that it took until February because it was on our trip,” she adds.
Even without a specific event in mind, a proposal can be very special, if well-timed and tailored to what she believes would be romantic. The key though is to be crafty and keep any and all planning secret from your lover (even when she begins saying you need to communicate more).
“He was very tight–lipped to the point that I had no idea a proposal was even coming so soon,” recalls Shannon about the proposal by her now fiancé, Mike. “We’d talked about marriage in the long-term but there was no indication he’d be proposing when he did. I thought maybe in six months. I even had a bet going at work, where the co-workers thought a proposal was coming soon and I thought it was still months away. I think that’s what made the proposal even better—it was just a random rainy Monday and I had no idea it was coming so I was completely surprised when it actually happened.”
As you see in both these proposals, another important factor is how it’s done. It’s easy to recognize that, in actuality, what you say is pretty much universal: I’ve loved you since the day we met, and I can’t imagine my life without you. (Insert girl’s name here), will you marry me?
What you do to build up to that moment though, is what the girl will remember and becomes, as schmaltzy as it sounds, an important part of the story of your lives together.
“It’s going to come up throughout your lives time and time again: ‘How did you meet? How did he propose?’” Dave remarks. “I think it needs to be meaningful. It’s asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you. You should really think it through a bit. I don’t think you need fairy tales and fireworks to make it special, but it never hurts.”
The most important factor is to make it something that is meaningful. Let’s face it–99.9999 per cent of the time the girl will say yes (the notable exception being the famous YouTube video of a guy proposing at a basketball game only to be turned down). The key is to make it personal, says Dov S., who proposed to his wife Sarah involving an elaborate display at the Winnipeg Art Gallery based on an experience the two shared, when he helped her do a virtual model of an art exhibit (which was then recreated at the WAG for his proposal).
“The key is to show them that you tried something different, something out of character. The effort isn’t in the money you’re spending, the effort comes in the energy that it takes you to plan it and the thought that goes into it,” Dov says. “It’s something you’re both going to remember forever.”
And make no mistake about it; the proposal will be just as meaningful to you as it will be to her. Outwardly to the guys in the gym we might pass it off as being no big deal. To our drinking buddies, sentimentalities are about as manly as sipping a daiquiri with a little umbrella poking out. When you really think about it though, you wouldn’t put in nearly the amount of effort you do, if you didn’t want to make it memorable for yourself as well.
With these factors in mind, you will undoubtedly have a perfect proposal.
A cut above the rest
So now that you’re ready to propose, the very first step is to purchase a ring.
Picking out the right piece though, can be a bit complicated when you consider the different factors that make one diamond look better (and cost more) than another. After determining the shape (such as round, princess or pear), the next step is to look at the five Cs, which, as detailed on diamond experts Diamond Gallery’s website
• Cut – Measured on two rating scales, a diamond will be shaped with an eye to how its facets interconnect, and how light travels through it. A good cut can increase the value of a stone 15 to 40 per cent.
• Colour – Most diamonds will have a slight hue of brown or yellow. An alphabetic scale tells you how close to colourless your gem is.
• Clarity – This will show you the number of inclusions (marks) that are inside or on the surface of a diamond. The scale here measures the amount of inclusions on your jewel.
• Carat – The big one. This is the size of your diamond and is measured on a point scale (100 points equals one carat).
• Canadian – With the rise in awareness of blood diamonds, many diamond stores and purchasers are looking towards diamonds that are mined in our home and native land.