T-Shirts

But then two things happened: 1) I entered my 30s, which slowed down my metabolism considerably, and 2) while in Los Angeles I was given a turquoise Chip and Pepper “T” that retailed for around $75. It didn’t take long to realize that my beloved BVDs did little more than accentuate both my newly formed paunch and fierce opposition to change. The Chip and Pepper shirt, on the other hand, was incredibly soft and durable, and cut like it was custom made: snug where it should be snug and forgiving where it needed to be forgiving. It was also a little daring, borrowing from the eccentric colour swatches of the unforgettable 80s sweatshirt era. Compliments were aplenty. I like to think that it really brought out my eyes.

Understanding that the T-shirt is extremely important, here are a few things to look for.

Quality
With the T-shirt now accepted as appropriate in Vegas clubs and under blazers, a sort of T-shirt snobbery has emerged, which isn’t altogether a bad thing. That said, out are beer shirts, company T-s, golf tournament prizes and anything printed on cotton blends so rough that nipple chafing becomes an issue. If it isn’t soft to the touch, it won’t be soft on the skin, so don’t buy it. Luckily, companies are catching on, so higher-quality cotton isn’t hard to find and it won’t require you to drop a Sir Robert Borden. (Writer’s Note: Never purchase those ridiculous fabric lined stretchy shirts prevalent in gay clubs and on the backs of middle-aged men who tuck them into tapered black jeans and adorn them with gold chains.

Cut
Have you ever seen that guy who shouldn’t be wearing that T-shirt? Don’t be him. Be sure to try the T-shirts on. Like jeans, different companies cut shirts differently. Zara’s cuts are a little more fitted than, say, American Apparel, Ed Hardy or Affliction. Comfort is key here, guys. Not too tight, not too loose.

Colour
Despite our propensity to live in the grey, with regards to clothing, men tend to gravitate towards black and white. While this is fine, busting out the baby blue or burnt sienna, for example, will give your wardrobe variety. Remember, women love colour. A good friend of mine was complimented on his new teal T-shirt by his wife, who was giving birth at the time. If you’re still a little insecure in your sexuality, rest in the fact that skull prints are in, so while you may be draped in mauve, you’re not straying too far from your heavy metal roots.

Prints/Graphics/Patterns
One of the cool things about a T-shirt is that your chest becomes a billboard for whatever you want. Conservative? A nice V-neck with a small graphic or saying might work. Pimp? Rhinestones, tattoo art and elaborate embroidery are in this year, so do it up large and go with something from Elvis Jesus.

Ultimately, what you wear is up to you. Just make sure it’s made well, fits well, represents well and, most importantly, brings out your eyes.