After an ungodly winter the notion of a shorts-, sandals- and beach-worthy body seems like a cruel joke. Fear not–we’ve provided you opportunity for the last laugh with the following head-to-toe, top-to-bottom report on the anatomy of summer grooming.

HEAD
Clipped quite literally equals cool, as any man who has savoured a tingly breeze through his short mane can attest. In addition, keeping your hedges clipped will prevent tan lines along the back of your neck. The same principles apply to facial hair, as your mug is the last place you want an uneven bake.

While you likely long ago found a hair styling product that works for you, consider that a less oily or sticky alternative may be better for summer, when your mop’s grease increases with sweat. This writer’s goos of choice? Sumotech by Bumble and Bumble, or the less expensive Alberto European Extreme Style Rework Putty.

SKIN

Cuticles, fingertips and palms can all dry out in the summer heat, so unless it be weathered seaman’s hands ye be wantin’, be sure to regularly slather on some moisturizer or hand cream. Sweat and sunscreen facilitate pore-clogging, so regularly exfoliate your face, neck, shoulders and back with a gentle cleanser and even a back brush. Try to choose an oil-free sunscreen. If you’re going to be living the sporting life under the sun, make sure your sunblock is sweat- and water-resistant. Finally, be sure to stay hydrated – water is the miracle potion to keeps your hide caress-worthy.

BODY
Let’s set aside the never-resolved question of chests: to shave or not to shave. It’s on the sheer unmitigated wrongness of back and shoulder hair that we can all unquestionably find consensus. Masochists can fetch the hot wax from the medicine cabinet now. However, if you find that excruciating, self-inflicted pain in fact hurts you, visit a he-friendly spa to exorcise the hairy little devils that mock the notion of a shirtless you.

For the gentleman who considers body hair cleanliness next to demi-godliness, Braun’s brand new Bodycruzer is a waterproof body groomer that allows for precision trimming, and comes with a specially designed comb to prevent any unpleasant feelings when tidying your more delicate bits.

FEET
While flattering your awoken-from-hibernation tootsies with flip flops may require a professional pedicure, you can perform the necessary upkeep at home using the Tweezerman Pedro ceramic pocket nail file. It’s simple–just open, clean, file, and smooth. Voila. It’s a tool and it’s DIY–what could be a greater encapsulation of manliness?