The Last Word - Winter 2011

Tom says...

How did I end up at Comic-Con at the Convention Center recently dressed up as Batman’s sidekick Robin? I’ve asked myself that question a few times.

We didn’t have any plans for Halloween weekend. In fact, I’m not a big fan of getting dressed up in a costume anyway. I think it’s rooted in the fact that I was never one of those who came up with these incredible homemade costume ideas that would stun the crowd whenever they would walk into the room. Then you’d feel lame with that quarter taped to your back, claiming to be a quarterback.

Some people just have that talent. I’m not one of them. So I’ve been satisfied to just hand out the candy and be done with it.

So Stace and I are just hanging around at home, perfectly content watching the Jets game on a Saturday night. Our friend Jay drops over in his Jedi costume on his way to the bars. Sometime during the third period he asks if we have any plans. As soon as I said we didn’t have any costumes, Stace jumps up and exclaims

“Oh yes we do.” Out of nowhere she produces a box full of costumes!

Next thing I know, I’m trying on the Robin tights. In fact, I had never put on tights before and they’re feeling alarmingly good! This just escalated once I donned the cape and mask. I was a superhero! All of a sudden this quiet evening at home was transformed into a bar hoppin’ night! I hit the bars with the Jedi and Stace looking sexy as hell in a sixties hippie get-up that came out the same box. I played the superhero all night and loved every minute of it!

The next day we had planned to hit the Convention Centre and walk around Comic- Con. But wait, don’t people dress up in costume’s when they go there? I had never been before, but that’s what I heard. I did have a Robin costume now and it would be a shame to waste the opportunity. After all no one would know it was me and I really wanted to put on those tights again!

So I grabbed my cape and off we went. Stace decided that the sixties hippie look wasn’t a good fit for the event, besides the fact, she works at the Convention Centre, and didn’t think it was wise to arrive looking like that anyway. But she willingly went along with Robin. As it turned out, most people actually DON’T wear a costume!

As we arrived in the hall, the first person I saw said ‘Hi Tom’! I thought I was incognito! As we traveled through the room, many more would say hello addressing me by name! I started to get a little self-conscious, until people began stopping me to get their pictures taken. Actually not with me, but with Robin! I began to seek out others in costume so I wouldn’t feel like such a goof. “Hey let’s get our picture together bro” I would say to the guy dressed as Wolverine. I even met Batman! Of course, his costume was incredible – an exact replica from the latest Batman movie. While we’re posing, he obviously noticed that what I had previously thought was a pretty cool Robin getup, was a pretty shabby version. He kindly suggested next time I should wear a codpiece. I looked down to see what little manhood I had squishing out of my tights.

“Let’s go Stace. I think we’ve seen enough” Apparently everyone else had too! I had wondered the night before why everyone smiled when they saw me and now I knew.

I think next year, that quiet night at home for Halloween sounds like a good plan. Unless Stace pulls out something that requires me putting on tights again. Then it’s game on!

By the way, does anyone know where to buy a codpiece?

Joe says...

With this being the holiday issue of Winnipeg Men, I can feel my annual Christmas anxiety already kicking in. Don’t get me wrong because I love the holidays – getting together with family and friends, sharing a laugh over some food and drink. There are not too many feelings better than being with the people you care about the most.

Where the nervousness usually comes in for me is the shopping. I’m not a fan of huge crowds so being in a mall can put me on edge. I know it’s mostly in my head and it’s all worth it in the end because the best thing for me to see is my nieces and nephews opening up their presents. But I have always put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure that they get what they want. I guess I shouldn’t be so competitive at Christmas time, with other family members, but hey, it’s like a popularity contest and I’m willing to buy their votes!

Actually, this year might end up being one of the easiest yet as far as making purchases, at least for the kids. You’ll never go wrong with cash or gift cards, but with this being the inaugural season for the Winnipeg Jets, it would be a guaranteed hit to give them Jets gear.

Gifts for the adults in my family are a whole different matter. This is where the stress will be at an all-time high for me. I know my family will have low expectations this year, but I want to make sure that everything we plan seems somewhat normal under the circumstances. You see, this will be our first Christmas without my wife, Alanna, who passed away in the spring after an eightyear fight with breast cancer. Even last year when her health took a turn for the worse, she was determined to organize and shop for our families’ presents. That’s just one of many ways that I will be lost without her. This year it’s up to me and it’s important to me not to fail.

Looking back at the past year, it was hard enough getting through some major family dates like birthdays, Easter and Thanksgiving. Experts say you have to get by all these humps as you embark on a new journey and continue with the healing process. I guess what I’m hoping for this holiday season is that my family gets one day closer to normalcy. What I’d also like to see is my nieces and nephews stay healthy, happy and have smiles on their faces as they get spoiled at Christmas… this time more than any other. That would be the best gift they could give their Uncle Joe.

From my family to yours, I want to wish you all a healthy and happy new year! Here’s to 2012!