The Last Word

Tom says...
With spring comes the usual chatter about change, but ‘09 is a whole different animal.

The first African-American president has been sworn in, and huge changes politically and economically are imminent and necessary—not only for North America, but the entire world.
 
Sure glad there are some really smart people working on all that stuff, because I wouldn’t want anyone looking my way for those answers. Though it has put most of us in the position of considering the changes in our own personal lives.

Our youngest son, Keenan, recently mentioned he was off to write his exam for a learner’s permit to drive. DRIVE!!?? “You can’t be referring to a car are you,” I exclaimed with great shock. “What happened to that Big Wheel? Isn’t that good enough?”

Okay, let’s back up here a bit. I’m sure it was yesterday, when I said to this same kid, “How does it feel to be four?” and he responded that he still felt three. It was one of those great, cute moments that you never forget as a parent. So here’s the question: As I’m sure they’re not handing out learner’s permits to five–year–olds, it would appear he is now 15. How did that happen?!

I remember telling him on his fifth birthday to “stop growing—I like you this size.” He told me he’d like to but he couldn’t help it. Again, so cute and unforgettable.

The truth is, after five kids I had finally grown into being a parent. I finally got the joke. Enjoy it you moron, because they’ll be gone soon enough. Apparently, worse yet, they’ll be gone in my car!

Once again, though, I have been given a reprieve in the form of a beautiful little nine-year-old girl we call “Little J.” She’s my stepdaughter, but somehow that term never adequately describes the depth of the relationship. I love her to death, just like the boys. And here’s the best part: After co-parenting for a few years together, my wife, Special K and I have decided to leave the lions share of that to her now. Let’s face it, Little J is turning 10, and speaking of changes, let’s just say things could get a little squeamish for me if I’m hauled into any of those conversations. My wife will be the first to tell me that I don’t know anything about girls, including her, and she’s right!

So I get to be the fun parent again, with as few responsibilities as the kids themselves. My favorite times have always been hanging with the kids, and through a long process, I’ve learned they can be the most valuable moments  of your life.

I have been reminded again to grasp each one of those times and enjoy every second, because before long I’m going to turn around and with that cute smile on her face, she’s going to be asking me for the car keys.
 
Joe says...

The first part of ’09 seemed to bring us a lot of swearing. History was made with the swearing in of the first black president of the United States. It also saw a lot of Manitobans swearing out loud with every day that passed during those super-cold, way-below-normal cold snaps. Some people started the year swearing off some of their favorite guilty pleasures and others just swore when they fell off the wagon.
 
My first swearing moment of the new year came early when I went out to find myself a Nintendo Wii system. I haven’t played a video game in probably some 20 odd years; I’m the guy who took the “intelli” out of Intellivision. I was never good at it, but for some reason (I don’t know, maybe this is my mid-life crisis) I really wanted a Wii.
 
I was lucky enough to find one in town shortly after the holidays and figured—here we go! This would be the way to get through a Winnipeg winter since I wasn’t getting away to somewhere hot. Ironically, there was no swearing when it came to setting it up at home. That came later.
 
My ‘Wii-kend’ was about to begin! What should ‘Wii’ play first? My wife says, “Let’s try bowling!” Okay—it’s on.
 
The first ball I throw ends up being a strike! Woo hoo! This is just like the real deal! About four frames in, my wife informs me that she has never bowled before. I say, “Ever?!” She confirms. We’ve been together for 18 years and I just find out that she’s never bowled before? Huh, you think you know somebody… Game’s over! She thumped me! Here it comes…
#%&@!! (but with good sportsmanship in mind, of course).
 
Things didn’t get any better the next day when two of my nieces came by for a visit. Julia is seven and Katie is four. The eldest—who I have watched grow up playing with dolls, singing and dancing and doing other girl-type things—decides she wants to try boxing. “Okay, sweetie. Give it a try,” says her Uncle Joe. Bam! Thud! Pow! Who knew she has a great left jab and a devastating overhand right? She knocked out her first opponent in a record 15 seconds and managed to go through another three boxers before deciding she’s tired and doesn’t want to box anymore. Something a lot of pro boxers could learn from her—retire while you’re still
on top of your game.
 
Finally, the reason I am now calling the Wii the ‘Why?’—my youngest niece, Katie, who’s ready to roll into a game of Wii tennis. Let’s just say that while I thought I did a pretty good job of hitting the ball on the first swing, my niece did a better job making contact on her second attempt. Yup, she misses on her first follow through and does a full 360 and hits the ball after her full rotation. Katie… Game, set, match! (No swearing zone…kids present)!
 
Anybody want to buy a Wii? Barely used.
I swear.